wrong turn

for all that remains and for all that vanishes.
the time has gone, will never stay. and I will never be sure where I really stand.
when it comes to what it's happening

the body follows a faint trace of dubstep
the heart beats faster than the body shakes

then the tears drop. drop down in an avalanche of emotions mixture. of mistaken assumptions. of despair and   no notion of where you are.

then clothes are teared off, anything flat can comfort, or maybe balancing on heels against a wall makes it all a big misunderstanding. the physical and animal makes the abstract and the emotion turn into a big bowl of bullshit.
so angry for letting it all take over. so sad to see it all gone.

there's a tic tac sound, stuck in my head, my bed, so far away, can't hold any of my thoughts, all of my weight wasted on the floor, seeking time.

I thought you were mine. that there was nowhere to hide anymore. no more of more. time turned you into gold. a treasure I've buried so deep, I cant dig you out.

But the traces remain evident. I follow the lines, the trick is on not leaving any marks.

"it will be ok. it will pass"

just like the words that came out of your mouth once. never stayed. you never stayed.

then another night wasted, permanent damage done, another stranger left wondering. legs shaking, the adrenaline running. pleasure running down the legs.

and its not about you. its about  need. my measurement of happiness. my immediate relief.
 all i need. all i need.

five minutes down my legs, whatever way you prefer.
release my pleasure in your hands
whisper you mistaken words.
push you away, leave no trace.

watch you go to be free again. I set you free and lock the door.

of ghosts

I come to wonder sometimes, what if all that was, all that existed, is still floating invisibly somewhere.
the feel of embrace around me, of all cold and warm things, is undeniable. I need caress.

Caress me as you explore. from inner thighs moving up, with your hands. looking down with your superiority guilt. hands down below, words stuck in your throat, I just need you to keep daring. I can suck all you cant say later on.

the pleasure is all mine.