in memory

Here I am packing my bags again.

Well, not literally. but true.

I think it is time to let silence stand still, give it a go. enjoy a pause

on chaos,

on reality.

the past weeks have been a pour down of goodbyes. timid ones, abrupt goodbyes, careless, meaningfull, prospective ones. But none of them really effective if I must say.

It is weird to have to feel brave enough to just dial a number, to say what I've been really thinking. Not that it always comes out the way it should. I also think I'm a lot better, but you know, and I know, you just don't know how to deal with me. and you never will.

My body is a whole, moving from town to town. freaks and artists in and out. and all that feeling of being somewhere you don't belong, it's all there. fresh and permanent like the fading ink tattooed on the back of my neck.

not much resistance. not really sure where you've gone. Sadly your eyes won't be running on these words ever again. I dearly miss you friend, dearly dearly miss you. And all these years you've listened to, they are just gone with you. without you I'm just a nomad soul, restless and breaking down on transit. wish you were here.

night still

the night still resonates on my ears.

a special trick under the sleeves and I'm under the sheets, bare as the night.

or maybe under the night, bare as i could be, saying everything, anything really.

that is the sound of attraction.

and all the impression that can be made.

the secretive charm of just being natural. my understanding of what is natural is a big nothing, but i like enjoying it without even noticing it. realising it later, when it's too late.

12 minutes to my dreams of surreality, wishes made walking by a strange crowd, fake stars were lights and everything else could've been a big adventure.

the touch on the skin was actually a test of resistance i was ready to lose. another minute close to chaos, close to surrender, i'd become just skin, just tension, desire, no reason, no reason at all.

a good night still. playing on repeat now.