the honest, the bad and the out of control

Through desire (not necessarily only sexual... desire for anything in life) I get that little "push" to something that can be good (or maybe not); it's the desire that gets me in touch with new possibilities and pleasure; it's how I get to feed the different "personas" inside of me. it's How i get balanced and live reality and dreams. all at once. I believe we aren't only one thing. we have so many aspirations and talents and thoughts. there's not such a thing as "single" in personality. we're a mix of many different beings.

So all that being important to me, I do feel as if I can get out of control sometimes. I am very passionate about what i believe and i dont see limits when i desire. i think lust always gets me blind before I know it, so sometimes, I try to lean on the reason side to try to balance things. When we talk i dont want reason. I am instinct. i am raw animal desire. I am whatever you let me be.

that said, now I need to dive into sobriety. Undress the touch I still feel from previous nights. But I also feel the need of contradicting my reason, of letting it take me no matter where it takes me, the need of feeling this great state of mind.
It is true, you're a seducer. You play my game but follow your own rules. I've never been on the other side of the table and maybe that's why sometimes i cant be sure if its the right way.
deep in thoughts, deep in myself. your voice penetrates my soul as my fingers penetrate my wetness. I fear men like you.

the power you can have over me.
the charms you can use and I can fall for.
It is just more contradiction to my books.
I want to get closer. but i also want to keep distance.
i want to feel this warm through the whole winter.
watch you fall for me the same way.

There is, I must say, the danger of losing the reason. i am never sure if would be right to let it all out. all at once could be an overdose of whispers; temptation; my pleasure expelled in the loudest sound; my orgasm in form of a river. my body contracting spontaneously with intensity. recovering sanity after all. but not really knowing where i am.