curse.

Feeling trapped in stills. Needing to get out there, a ghost passing through moving lights.

white noise made out of steel strings.

And one afternoon. just one afternoon, is enough to make me lock the door behind you. after you leave.

just me. and only me. and the impression you made.

irreversible effect, I stand still and cry a little because I know nobody will ever find out that I actually have no control anymore, over what I feel.

Just like that, fooling myself for so long. that's how I decide to leave.

I've come to agreement that I will never be ready to leave this town. So I might as well make it mine.

A hand under my skirt and I'll shut up.

and after the hunting is over, honey, I'm hungry almost all the time. No phenomenon. no explanation either. It will just happen. and never be repeated. not the same way that is.

I will open that door again to let you break me, caress me and make me cry.

I don't fear the casual. men. sex. war. games. reality.

but for the first time ever, I find myself fearing ever letting ou read through me.

that sounds ridiculous just to write. I don't want it for me.

it's a curse I want to be free of.

keep the fingers working. the mouth watering and I'll promise to keep sane.

and safe.