open that f* door

has it really changed? I mean, everything, even a bit?

doors closed.

break in.

lock ourselves in. leave your bloody excuses behind.

and this is not a plea. or an idea. it's just a plan.

tired of the "b" way. the alternative. the fix. the "maybe next time" positive thinking.

I am in one of those moods. the anger possessing me slowly. i could use some angry sex.

or just some old friends. visiting town. staying for a while. taking me with them. for good.

what is it with this town that puts me in ups and downs more constant that its hills?

seriously, i need a long break. maybe not having holidays since april until november has something to do it with it.

I got a kitten. she's the best. my loyal company. sitting on my lap just now. love her.

and then again, i got thinking "what the fuck am i doing?". does it mean im ready to settle? i don't think so.

i mean, this is no home.

this is my penitence.

honestly.

things can happen or not. it doesnt matter. there's a world out there that im missing out big time. and no replacements are available for that.

if you have a home you know what i am talking about.

I'm talking about late nights playing cards with friends,

joining strangers and getting into weird parties.

taking buses and crossing the tropic of capricorn.

finding secret hidden places, bumping into people like me, who dont care about what they are searching for, they are just there for the trip.

loving and hating but never leaving.

i want it all back.

back, hear me?

and fuck the whole rest.

you dont really help being such a bastard, dear.